“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
We’ve all heard this piece of scripture numerous times, usually at weddings, and I’m sure during the reading the bride and groom were crying such happy tears. Although many people tend to think that this scripture is a bit cheesy to read at a wedding, I would happen to disagree. I think this portion of scripture is absolutely beautiful, and truly depicts what love should look like.
Moreover, I think that this scripture depicts the type of love that we should seek in our partner.
Obviously when you are looking for a partner, or even reflecting on your current partner, you desire positive qualities. You want this person to be kind, to love you, to care for you… and well, this list could take up the entirety of this post. Basically, you want to be loved. But take a moment and re-read the scripture written at the beginning of this blog post. Reflect on what this scripture is saying.
We desire a 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 kind of love and we deserve to receive and give that type of love.
You may have seen this circulating on social media, but I love it so much that I am going to share it again. When reflecting on this scripture and your partner, or potential partner, replace love with their name in this scripture and see how you feel after reading it. For example:
“Chris is patient, Chris is kind. He does not envy, he does not boast, he is not proud. He does not dishonor others, he is not self-seeking, he is not easily angered, he keeps no record of wrongs. Chris does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always preserves.”
Try this exercise with your partner’s name! Read it. Read it again. How do you feel about it? Do you think that it is accurate? What are the areas that need improvement? What are your partner’s strengths, according to this scripture? You can learn so much about your partner and the love the two of you have by doing this exercise.
Now, something to be mindful of is that it can be difficult to find this type of love. People in our world are broken. And if there is one thing that I have learned in my young life, it is that hurt people hurt people. You and your partner may not currently have a 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 type of love at the moment, but why couldn’t you grow together and obtain that love?
At this point in the blog, I’m going to be completely honest. I have written and re-written this sentence at least five times. So, I’m just going to be blunt since I cannot find a decent way to sugarcoat it. If your current partner, or a potential partner, is unwilling to work on improving a relationship and does not desire to offer you this kind of love, walk away. You are a beautiful, wonderful, child of God and you deserve to receive this kind of love. If your partner insists on not being kind to you, remains envious, dishonors others, and will not budge on changing this behavior at all, you need to reexamine the kind of partner you are seeking and the kind of relationship you want.
There, I said it! Hate me if you want, but that is simply how I feel. And do you want to know why? Because I know in my heart what you deserve. To whoever is reading this right now, remember that you are worthy. You have value in this world and you are worthy of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 kind of love. You deserve to have someone who can show you all of these positive qualities in a relationship. You deserve to have someone who will improve your life and help you grow — not someone who will drag you through the mud.
Note: If your partner is abusing you (emotionally, verbally, or physically), please talk to someone or seek counseling. Yes, we can grow together and fall even more in love, but abuse is dangerous and should be discussed immediately. If you are with a partner and feel that you or others may be in danger, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit their website to chat online or seek safety.